Oops I did it again, and it happend again - for the LAST time

I am really having a hard time with weather or not to even say anthing.  Just let this event pass by without so much as a blurp in our lives.  But this single event has changed me in more ways than the 2 times before.  I was hoping we were going to announce happy news about a baby in January, but to not my suprise, it happened again. I am so disappointed right now and wondering why this is happening to me and my family. Seriously, 3 times in a row. Like really?
But this time I have the knowledge that this is it for me. Michael maybe an only child and that will just have to be ok.

Early this morning alone while little Michael was asleep and Mike was at work my last chance at having a baby passed through me with only 60 minutes of torture. Labor at a 10 week pregnancy isn't too unbearable - with drugs. Right now I am just exhausted and have a massive headache. My heart is broken with knowing this chapter is officially CLOSED. But with this door closed another one is opening.
Mike and I had been talking for awhile now about adoption. That if we were unable to have anymore we would go through the foster program and add to our family that way. I am very excited to announce that is exactly what we will be doing. With 2013 taken for our family to save to buy our very own home again and finally put roots here in Dallas, 2014 will no doubt bring another child into our lives. I am kinda hoping too to be able to foster and eventually adopt siblings. How selfish of us to not open our homes and hearts to a child already here that needs and deserves a home. Yes, I am sad that I will not have another baby of my own, I am excited for this next chapter of our lives. For anyone going through fertility issues, my heart goes out to you. This past 2 years trying to add to our family has been a really rough road for our family and one my body is just too tired to continue. Maybe if I was younger and had the luxury to take a year or so off from trying but I don't have that. And honestly I am just as excited to adopt as if to find out I was pregnant again. I can say with 100% certainly that I am relieved that I won't put myself through this emotional journey again.

It's rough. One I wouldn't wish on my worst enemy. I do know this trial has brought me more compassion and understanding. And has made me stronger as a person. Losing 3 babies has made me appreciate more. I am going to start the process next year with the foster program here in Dallas so in 2014 we can finally do what my body just isn't capable of doing anymore. Add another Hughes or Hughes's to our family. I look forward to sharing this journey with all of you!